It can be a real struggle to get through January without slipping into depression.  It’s dark, it’s wet, and pay day is still a week away.  It’s easy to just curl up and isolate yourself.  But it’s important to remember this feeling will pass and to remain optimistic despite all. This poem, I hope, plays to that optimism.

a moment in time

shifting sands

unsteady earth

marooned

 

lost and confused

sad

unsure

no confidence

 

i wonder

why am i alive

surely

there must be a reason

i’ve survived

so much

 

i fear

going out

talking to people

being seen

 

being judged

found lacking

not normal

 

do i want

to be normal

what is normal

 

i’ve never met it

not sure i’ve ever

seen it

 

why do i care?

 

what’s the point

if I’m not doing

what I’m supposed

to be doing

 

alone

is not the answer

love has never been

found

 

marriage failure

abuse

discontinued

by divorce

 

so here i sit

feeling sorry for my

self

 

don’t want to go

home to

isolation

 

don’t want to go

out

might have to

engage

 

not ready

not capable

not sure

 

can’t go back

no replay

on life

onward the

only way

 

it’s a dance

learn the steps

that new song

is just around

the corner

 

i believe

i have to

believe

or else

why else

 

seek and

open my heart

risk

going out

 

i’m afraid